My hometown was so small...

...the clinic was called Joe's Hospital and Grill

...long distance calls are delayed when the area code is busy

...the town Lady of the Evening stands under a flashlight

...in order to paint traffic lines, the road had to be widened

...instead of hoses, the Fire Department uses water pistols

...you had to make a reservation to use the parking meter

...during snowstorms, salt was spread using a salad shooter

...the local Motel 6 sleeps six

...during a boxing match, both men have to sit in the same corner

...the class valedictorian had both the highest & lowest averages

...the Mayor was also the Sheriff, Town Council & street sweeper

...we had no porn movie house; once a week someone left the shades up

...the municipal water system's pump was supplied by Water Pik

...before you visited, you could look out a window & see who was home

...there was no town idiot -- everybody had to take turns